No sleeping, this instead:
Wed DNA line, lived off o’ devile-nil and dew,
Seeped in seeded sad as Dedee, snide, pees.
It’s a palindr-oem. Dedee is the mother of a woman who has abandoned her impoverished, low-class family for a life as a well-to-do career woman. She never calls, she never writes, but she has come back to town for her sister’s wedding, because her sister is the only family member that she ever really felt a bond with. To spite her daughter and to show her own pride in her own way of life, Dedee pees outside, in full view of the wedding proceedings. Okay, so maybe it becomes less impressive when it requires a paragraph of explanation, but just imagine that there was a situation where this was relevant, and I totally came up with it on the spot. Holy shit, I’m amazing.
So also, last night, we went to BJ’s, because I was feeling like a sugar mama and I wanted to take Katy out someplace fancy (she proceeded to make BJ jokes the entire time, and even thanked our waiter for serving us BJs.) So anyway, I asked for two decaf coffees with whipped cream, and he said it was going to be like ten bucks, so I asked for one instead, and he said his boss was on his ass and that if he caught us sharing he might get the boot. He ended up bringing us two decaf coffees with extra whipped cream and gave us free refills, still only charging us for one. I folded him a crane and wrote him a palindrome:
Named “Decaf,” faced de man.
…I was still kind of proud of its relevance, despite the fact that, to make it make sense, you have to develop a Jamaican accent halfway through.
TWO NEUROTIC BITCHES 